Littera scripta manet.
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "jalen_mara" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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10:10 pm
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Oh the Joke's on me
Got cast in the show that I didn't go to the callback for. *sigh* This will teach me to NEVER leave the door of possibility open. If you don't show them you're going to be bad at something there's still the assumption that you can be good at it.
I think I'm most disappointed because I really did like one of the other scripts. *sigh* And I think I know who got it. She'll be great (if it is her, don't know for sure yet), and I'll be jealous. Moreso than I already am.
However, as my Artistic Director put it, how many opportunities will I have to perform 'Ode to Joy' and a Bollywood dance at the same time. :)
...
*sigh*
ETA: I have spent the last 20 minutes looking at sundresses online, and am sad for 2 reasons. 1) I am still at minimum 1 month away from being able to wear one, and 2) I don't know when I became that girl that wears sundresses.
Current Mood:  cynical
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09:38 am
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Auditions/Callbacks
Had an audition for the 4th Annual Vignettes of the Apocalypse yesterday. :) Every year my theatre company puts on a One Act Festival featuring pieces that deal with apocalyptic, macabre, or dystopian themes, and this year is no different-- we have 20 plays that will go in about a month for 2 or 3 weekends. They'll be divided into groups, so only about 4 plays per performance, etc.
Anyways, I went yesterday and did my monologue (which I hate and despise doing-- meant to be an ensemble actor, I HATE being on stage alone) and it went well. Yay me! I'm slowly gaining confidence in giving monologues, which is good, and the material that I'm choosing is better now that I've been taught (at least a little) what casting directors are looking for.
Callbacks are today, and I've been called back for 6 of the shows. I'm only going to 5 of the callbacks however (one of the directors sent me the script for his show, and I think I'm just going to take a pass on that one), but cross your fingers for me today! This is where the real work (but the most fun) begins. :D
Current Mood:  accomplished
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04:06 pm
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Any number of amusing things
In no specific order--
My internet was down for the better part of the week. The roommates seemed to suffer infinitely more than I did, however, I did have the Olympics to distract me from the vast echoing halls of intrawebs silence. The best quote to come from this shortage undoubtably belonged to Trevor, with "Oh my god... I feel Amish."
I believe that because of the aforementioned internet shortage I was robbed of being apple's 10 billionth (or whatever) iTunes purchase, seeing as I tried to make my first iTunes purchase ever when my internet was half working. I wanted to download Jeff Buckley's version of "Hallelujah", which if you haven't heard it, you should. It's sad and heartbreaking and I love it oh so very much.
It's snowing like mad right now. I feel very warm and snug watching it from inside my apartment with no plans of leaving for the next foreseeable future. :) No doubt my attitude would be drastically different if I had to work today.
Speaking of work, Monday was no good, horrible, terrible, very bad day in which I thought I almost got fired, know that I definitely almost quit, and imagined in great detail what it would be like to throw all of the menus in the Chef/Owner's face and tell him where he could stick it. I talked to my supervisor about it yesterday (part of the problem was that he was not there on Monday, and therefore wasn't around to help and/or run a buffer between the rest of management who have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER how to run the door of a super busy NYC restaurant), and he assured me that I wasn't being fired. So, I aired my grievances and made it perfectly clear that I don't want to quit, because I like my job (on the whole), but I deserve to be treated better than I was on Monday and that if it happens again, I will quit. He told me to keep my chin up and just focus on the job, which I did.
Because a number of employees saw me talking quite seriously with my supervisor, everyone assumed that I was quitting, and I spent the rest of the night fielding "What's wrong? You look so upset!" questions, to which I was completely honest, and said that yes, I was very upset with the way some of the events on Monday were handled (the largest grievance being that when I specifically asked a manager (who was standing by the door doing NOTHING) for help I was told "I'm not doing anything for you until I'm sure the door is being run properly." HOW PRAY TELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THE DOOR RUNNING PROPERLY IF YOU REFUSE TO HELP ME YOU JACKASS????!!!!!!!!?!??!?!
*ahem* But, I guess that's all in the past now.
I don't know if I've mentioned this, but my favorite of the "boring" Winter Olympic sports is definitely the biathlon. Cross country skiing and sharpshooting. How does it get any better than that?
Also, Conan O'Brien has joined the ranks of twitter. I feel my resolve crumbling... TEAM COCO FOREVER!
Aaaaaand, I think that's all for now. Happy Thursday everyone! Be sure to watch tonight for the first US shutout of women's figure skating in something like 20 years. :D (But, if we do medal (by some miracle) I hope it's Mirai Nagasu and not that icky blonde girl with NO GRACE whatsoever. As we learned from our dear sore loser Yvgeny Pleshenko (sp?????) the jumps are not everything. Although, apparently, they do earn you PLATINUM MEDALS! Oh Russia... I still see some USSR peeking through, might want to see to that, pronto.
Current Mood:  restless
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05:48 pm
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Ahh, Theatre
I doubt that many of you will be particularly entertained by this entry, but there are times when you just really have to put events into words and words onto paper before you lose the magic of the moment. A part of me is afraid that I’ve already lost it, that the nuances of feeling have already been put asunder from my mind and body, that my memory will serve as a fickle mistress and not convey every heartbeat and tingle and breath and gasp and experience that I had last night.
But, enough doubt. I have to move forward and trust that when I close my eyes, I will still see that moment clearly and with no uncertainty, and believe that when I use my own words, the transference of my consciousness to yours will be complete and that the connection between artist and audience will be that never ending circle of giving and receiving. Run on sentences notwithstanding, of course ;).
I’ve been cast in a reading of a new work called “The Last Virgin”. The subject matter, as you may well be able to garner from the title alone is controversial. The story is deceptively simple—a young girl who has been “kept safe” returns to a surrogate family only to find that the woman that may or may not be her mother has become a Madame and is running a modern day brothel. The economy is awful and the choices that these women are forced to make in order to survive are harrowing to say the least. The young girl, anxious to repay her family for everything that they have provided for her decides to auction off her virginity to the highest bidder to save her chosen family from the world, and in turn, themselves. Just one hiccup, she meets Adam, the boy who loves her for her and wants to take her away from these harpies who have seemingly brainwashed her. He does not succeed and the auction goes through anyways. The young girl continues through with her plan, but only when the man that has “won” her shows the brutality that a situation like this could easily disintegrate into does she change her mind. And things go horribly, terribly wrong.
I play the last virgin—Kira. I first got the script a few days ago and immediately sequestered myself in my bedroom to read it through for the first time. I remember reading once that you can never get a first read back, so one should really try to experience the whole of the script and not try to make any “acting choices” in the first read through. Let the words of the playwright carry and speak to you, let them inform you of what roads you as the actor will choose to embark upon. This is often a challenge for an actor. We, on the whole, want to jump in feet first, throw the play into a standing position and then hit it like a linebacker. But still, those first quiet moments are important.
What I remember from this first read through was a fact-finding mission. Get to the end to find out what happens. Will she, or won’t she give up this one thing that she has to offer, this one thing left to sell. I remember in the scenes between Kira and Adam thinking that the moments were nice, and it makes the fact that the actor playing the man who wins the bidding war at the end of the piece played by the same actor that plays Adam a powerful statement.
I remember applying my intellect, researching some of the character names and literary allusions from the script to better inform some of my choices and for full roundedness of character. I remember liking what I was reading, but not really sold on the premise, thinking that it lacked something, what I couldn’t put my finger on.
Last night was the first read-through with most of the rest of the cast. A few actors, including the one that would play Adam (the person my character has the most interaction with) were unable to be there, but no problem, both the director and the playwright were present to fill in as needed.
The director is one that I have worked with before, on another project that I was proud to be included in and counted among. He has a unique perspective that really helps an actor access exactly what they need in order to convey to the absolute best degree of truth. I had no audition for the role, he called and offered it to me, and I accepted script unread. I trust this director in a way that I have never trusted another person in theatre before. He’s one to watch and extremely talented, but that is another story for a different day.
We gathered around the playwright’s living room and began to read through the play for the first time, and about halfway through the first act, you could hear the confidence building in each of the actor’s voices, even those who were simply filling in for other actors who could not be there. The scripts lay in the laps of those of us reading, ready for reference, but our eyes kept searching out each others, each of us reaching for a connection even in this—our first read through.
We took a short break at the end of act 1, the director and playwright excused themselves for a few short moments to compare notes while the rest of us took the opportunity to talk amongst ourselves, getting to know each other and comparing notes about our thoughts on the play thus far. The director came back, gave us each a few notes, and we took off again, the momentum and connection growing with each moment.
Sache will be my witness that I love conflict. And when I say love, I mean loooooooooooove. Once conflict is introduced to a scene there is just a myriad of ways to play around and see what happens. Pretty much every scene in the second act of this play is dripping with conflict between the characters and internally as well.
In the final scenes of this play, all character conflict comes to a head and is ultimately realized in the scene where Kira, suddenly faced with the brutal reality of what she is about to do, or more accurately what is about to be done to her, changes her mind and asks the “gentleman” to leave. He’ll be reimbursed the money he used to pay for her, and no kind of action will be taken against him as long as he just leaves. She buzzes the intercom which was established as “broken but going to be fixed” in the first act, but nothing happens. The man, sensing a helpless prey pursues her and ultimately forces himself on her, at which point she accepts the fact that no help is coming and tries to bear it as stoically as she can, for as long as she can.
The play ends with her anguished screaming, followed by a short dénouement in which it is clear that Kira has died, sacrificed herself for everything and nothing in turn.
The language that this playwright uses is both heart wrenching and powerful, but not until we were in that moment, with my director staring at me with suddenly lifeless eyes interested in only what my body had to offer that this story truly began to hit home with me. I was suddenly scared shitless, both of him and what he could do and the fact that no help was coming. We reached the moment where Kira reaches for the intercom ineffectually when in an absolute serendipitous moment, the playwright’s own intercom buzzed.
I screamed outright, the excess energy needing to be displaced somehow, and the rest of the room jerked violently, each of us jarred out of the spell that the playwright’s words were weaving for us. Very suddenly we were all actors once more instead of unwilling victims and aggressors, but in turn, we were each painfully aware of the responsibility each of us now holds in order to achieve the spell binding, horrific magic. We each took a few breaths, waited for everyone to settle again, and finished out the remaining 2 pages of the script. I can only imagine how powerful the scene would have been without the interruption, but I only know how easily we each slipped back into the cadence of the words and fought tooth and nail back to the intensity that we had achieved seemingly without trying the first time around.
We reached the end and I couldn’t feel my hands, nor could I seem to catch my breath. It took me a full five minutes to be able to look my director in the eye again, this man that I respect as an artist and trust implicitly, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that when I read the scene with the real Adam, another actor that I know well, very little acting will be done in that final scene. I’m going to be truly frightened of him and the vulnerability to which I will have to reach for and achieve.
But still, moments like those are why I do this. Moments of feeling truly alive even encased in the character of a completely different person, moments where you aren’t sure where you end and the character you’re playing begins. Moments where the words you are saying cease to be words, but instead become bullets of truth each seeking the needed velocity to reach their targets, and in turn, kill.
I really do think that this project will be one that I’m truly proud of when we finish. I rest in hope, always.
Current Mood:  creative
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10:40 pm
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LOST musings
So-- here's my new theory...
( Wheel of morality, turn, turn, turn... )
Current Mood:  contemplative
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02:43 pm
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*&hearts*
www.youtube.com/watch
Hmmm, Don't think the embedding worked, here's the link. :D
Current Mood:  amused
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12:54 pm
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LOST
So, my only thoughts are as follows--
( Spoilers, oh my )
Current Mood:  calm
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11:14 am
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Woot!
Off to meet ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) randomvacancy ! Muwahahaha, Kades. Prepare for tackle hugs. ;)
Current Mood:  hyper
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11:43 pm
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Team Nauseous
Yeah, so I read Twilight as an experiment. I had no desire to read the books, not even from a curiosity standpoint like what finally had me giving in to reading Harry Potter. (I got so tired of being able to carry on a conversation with those of you who were fans and knowing exactly what to say in order to keep it going, yet knowing none of the nuances that I finally gave in the summer HBP came out and read them myself.)
No, I just thought that maybe, just maybe, I might be able to wean myself off of my COMPLETELY and UTTERLY IRRATIONAL fear of vampires. *shudders* Seriously, I am pathetic. You should see me dive for a scarf or anything to wrap around my neck (even if it is just my own hands) for protection whenever anyone even mentions the "v" word.
I figured that Twilight would be a perfect place to start because a) They are not evil vampires and do everything in their power *not* to suck the blood of humans (ahhhhh, I got shaky just typing that sentence), and b) From what I had heard about Meyer doing everything in her power to unravel all of the advances that feminism has made over the past few years, not to mention just being an awful... (I cannot, in good conscience, call her a "writer" so I guess "author" will have to do because she is published.... so....) author-- I could feel Steven King twitching from the overuse of adverbs alone... Anyways, I figured that my English Degree Holder Person Thingie would rear its ugly head and protect me by unleashing some righteous fury, which it did, just not enough to distract me from the damn bloodsuckers.
I was literally shaking and nauseous during the entire exchange between the Cullens and the Tracker dude until the end of the book, and Bella *wanting* to become a vamp... *TWITCH*
Yeah, I can't talk about it anymore... Just know, I've read Twilight now...
Current Mood:  nauseated
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10:54 am
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Oh, by the way...
I'm redoing my room to, I don't know, make it mine? :D
I get my new bed today (graduating to a full instead of the twin I've been sleeping on for a year, yay! The benefit of not having to share a room.) I just hauled one set of twin mattresses downstaires to the grabage area, one set to go. *deep breath*
I start looking at paint samples on Tuesday (my next day off), will hopefully paint some time next week, and then it's back to saving the coat check pennies for the dresser, bookcase, end table, and chair I would like to purchase from Ikea.
Furniture will all be black, walls and bedspread some shade of blue-ish grey, and accent color will be a really amazing shade of electric blue. *is excited* I already have some artwork picked out ( a friend of mine is a really amazing photographer who has this really great print of an electric blue smoke curl on a black backdrop. I'm just waiting on him to ship it to me! *excited*
Yeah, so that's what's been going on with me. That and working. And boy problems. What else is new? ;)
Current Mood: accomplished
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12:30 am
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Um?
So, I got cast? I have a week and a half before we tech for 2 days and then straight into performance. This next week is gonna be cuh-razy...
:D BUT SO HAPPY! *huggles theatre*
Crazy ass reindeer who's trying to kill Rudolph here I come!
*shrugs*
Current Mood:  artistic
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12:45 pm
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Ah, Imagination...
So, I had this weird dream last night that gave me the wickedest plot bunny I will never be able to write, lol
Rick Castle marries Lorelai Gilmore and Alexis and Rory (their respective daughters who are eerily similar) hate each other. Sounds basic, but in the dream I had, oddly compelling. At one point in the dream, I even removed myself from the reality of their world and discovered that I was the writer of the story. I think I even renamed the show Castle's Girls. Even worse, lol. And, no-- there was no Beckett in the dream.
I blame each and every one of you that is doing Nano.
;)
Current Mood: creative
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12:03 pm
[Link] | I didn't get cast. Luke really was right, overconfidence is a weakness. *sigh* I'll be in bed wallowing for the day. Come back swinging tomorrow.
Current Mood:  disappointed
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09:48 pm
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*sigh*
As many of you know, I have never been the most patient person in the world. Moving to NYC has not helped that in the slightest, except for when it comes to public transportation in that it take me at least an hour to get anywhere in Manhattan. Anyways, all that to say-- I had an audition yesterday and the hell that is the wait between the audition and the posting of the cast list has not, nor will it ever get any easier.
It's just really frustrating and I don't know whether to sigh, cry, rip my feather pillow to shreds, or just attempt to go to bed early.
The really sad thing? It's for a tiny show. In the grand scheme of things, this show will not make or break anyone's career.
*sigh*
In other news, someone really could have warned me about Mrs. Landingham.
Current Mood:  gloomy
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08:22 pm
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Well...
In this week's installment of "Megan's been deathly ill (and is grossly prone to exageration when feeling under the weather) and while bedridden has decided to indulge in unknown fandoms" -- the winner (thanks to sache8) is The West Wing.
It's like the Gilmore Girls/ER of political television. And I mean that as a compliment. I love snappy dialogue (therefore Aaron Sorkin) and television that assumes that its audience is actually *gasp* intelligent. So therefore, even though I am only 14 episodes in (and have recognized an astonishing amount of quotes from my f'-list icons) I'm completely in love. This rarely happens without someone pretty to look at! Don't get me wrong, I think Sam is as cute as a button, but he just doesn't do it for me personally. Too much of a boy scout/seeking approval thing, but do I think he's a good character? Yes. A resounding yes for almost everyone. I love them all so much that I'll even forgive them for being democrats because they just seem to care so damn much.
CJ is my favorite so far, and she and Danny have become my newest OTP. Something about strong women and cocky men... hee, I just love it. Josh is adorable, and I wish my relationship with my boss was as nice as his and Donna's. Although Donna's high pitched nasal voice is getting on my last nerve, I do like her. She's better than Mandy by any stretch of the imagination.
I want Leo to be my grandfather and Toby is growing on me. I love him to pieces one minute and can't stand him the next. Which is probably why I adore him. He seems like a normal guy. And whoever thought of casting Stockard Channing as the First Lady *love*. I keep seeing Charlie Sheen (whom I despise) whenever I see his daddy playing about in the Oval Office, but I'm really trying not to hold it against him. I like the character of Josiah, but I need him to show a hubris other than a biting sense of humor and a penchant for boring folks with archane national park trivia. I think (if I remember from the actual run of the show) that does happen eventually. Once I get there and see a humanizing weakness, I'll probably adore him.
And speaking of undying adoration-- Charlie Young, hello, I'm yours. I probably find him the most compelling character so far, which is sad because all I seem to ever hear him say is "Yes, Mr. President." Although he did have an absolutely beautiful (and controversial) moment when he said that he wouldn't want his mother's killer to be executed, he'd want to do it himself. That's an idea that (unfortunately) I understand wholeheartedly, so I was bizarrely excited to hear that opinion come out of a character that already has a special place in my heart.
All that being said, I really hate him with Zoey, not because she's the president's daughter, but because I really hate and disrespect Elisabeth Moss as an actress. She's ok on film, but I saw her on Broadway in Speed the Plow last year, and I'm really sorry, but (theatre actress rant-- you've been warned) but until you prove to me that you can hold your own onstage (I don't even demand that you be spectacular, just that you can hold your own!) I can't respect you as a well rounded actress. Humph.
Hmm, casting about for other thoughts,,, This show really makes me wonder where I would have ended up if I had stuck with my law/polotical aspirations I had when I was younger (so wanted to be in politics and be the first female president), still it's not a life I envy... Too bad this show already ended. There went my shot to be one on tv ;).
Current Mood:  enthralled
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04:49 pm
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*jumps off cliff too*
Well, if everyone else is talking about being sick, I might as well join the chorus of groans, sniffles, hacks, coughs, and mutterings.
Although, to be fair, I am better by half than I was yesterday. (Yesterday I was a miserable shell of a human being who, apparently, had a "wet nose, like a puppy!" to the delight of one of my managers...)
Today though, I have stayed in bed most of the day listening to all the songs that Glee has put on itunes, and fancying myself a better singer when a) I am sick and b) no one is actually listening to me. :D
In other news, English Breakfast tea is the best thing when I'm sick. It was the only thing I could drink when I had strep throat a couple of years ago, so I'm kind of surprised I can even still tolerate it, but it makes my heart happy and my throat feel soooo much better it's not even funny. All hail the Brits!
And... that's it. I think I migh attempt a shower now. We'll see.
Baby steps, sir. Baby steps...
Current Mood:  sniffly
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12:41 am
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Seems only fitting...
I watch a crapload of tv and movies, so shoot!
Ask me a fandom, and I will tell you:
+ OTP
+ Runner-up
+ Honorable mention(s)
+ Crack pairing(s)
+ Ship everyone else seems to like, but I don't
In other news, I met Jim from The Office (!!! John Krasinski!!!) and his fiancee Emily Blunt (so talented) tonight. :D:D:D
Current Mood:  chipper
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11:50 pm
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Road Trip!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or, at least, you know, plane ride!!!
Off to Vermont to visit the lovely jadeywoman ! *squee* Am much excited. Not so excited about the fact that it's midnight and I have to be awake again in 5 hours and I'm not packed, nor have I dried/straightened my hair or you know, slept. Eh, we'll get there.
Anyhow, away for the internets for a few days. I'll try to check in sporadically, but no promises. If you need me, call the cell.
See you on the flip side, yo!
Current Mood:  ecstatic
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11:57 pm
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Amusing Story of the Week (NYC Style) Pt. 3/Anniversary
So, I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of moving to NYC the same way I spent every other momentous occasion of my life this past year-- at work. That's the bad news. The good news is that without being at work, this installment of Amusing Story of the Week would not have been brought to you [proudly sponsored by the letters N, Y, and C and the numer 20-- the subsequent age of the new US Open champion, who, it must be said-- is a smokin' hottie. *ahem*]
Anyhow-- I was at work, standing at the host stand, when in walks this man carrying a unicycle. Into my 3-star restaurant. I repeat-- carrying a unicycle.
I'll give you just a moment to adjust to that mental image. Got it nice and fixed there? Good. I'll continue...
Where was I? OH YES, THE UNICYCLE. Now, one thing you must also understand is that, other than the unicycle, this man looked relatively normal. Middle aged, slightly balding, polo and khakis. so, he waltzes up the the host stand and oh so casually wheels the unicycle to a resting position against the wall
"Hello." my fellow hostess and I exchange glances to ensure that yes, we are, in fact, seeing the same thing. A slight nod from both of us. We are.
"Hi!" His greeting is upbeat and peppy. "Have you ever heard of The Pink Man?"
Again, my fellow hostess and I exchange glances with a growing sense of vague trepidation. "No."
"Well, you're in luck! *I* am The Pink Man!" he exclaims excitedly. "I travel around and [blah blah blah]..." At this point, I have lost track of the conversation completely because he has lifted up the pant leg of his khakis to reveal a shockingly pink knee sock. I blink, and feel the corners of my mouth starting to twitch in time to my now rapidly beating heart. Stifling the growing laughter I tune back into the conversation to hear him ask if he can change in our bathroom. At this point, he (still holding his pant leg aloft for all to see the pinkness) draws the unicycle close. "But, I'll need a place to dump my ball of clothes until later." he continues.
I blink again and bite the inside of my lip, silently contemplating my options. Before I can come to a solid conclusion, he takes my silence to mean vast uncomfortability and hedges "But, if you're uncomfortable I can find someplace else."
I gather what's left of my self-discipline and offer a sincere apology, but I just can't let him change and/or store his clothing in my restaurant if he's not going to be a guest. He bobs his head, and I have to purse my lips because now inside my head, my imagination is running wild with visions of pink sugar plum fairies complete with unicycle and fire juggling for some reason.
"No problem!" he waves, gathers his unicycle and walks out the front door, but not before turning on the spot and wagging a finger in my general direction. "You'll remember this!" he says, and I can't tell if it's a gleeful threat or a charming promise. Either way, I will.
Indeed I will.
Current Mood: amused
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12:02 pm
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To do...
Because lists are taking over. :D
Go to the libraryGet my eyebrows reshaped (It's been awhile, scary!)Officially hand in my 2 weeks notice because the other place hired me :DSpend my Forever 21 gift card- Clean my room
- Laundry
- Figure our why Word has stopped working and locked all of my documents
Woot.
Current Mood:  busy
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