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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "jalen_mara" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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10:22 pm
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Goodbye 24
So, last year, I wrote this goodbye letter to being 23. It seemed only fitting then because 23 had been such a good year to and for me. Now I just like the idea of taking stock of the last year of my life, and grouping everything (good and bad) together to say a farewell to that year. I also realized why I never do this on New Year's-- on that day, the whole of Christendom (? don't know if that's the proper way to put it, but there you go anyways) celebrates the coming of a new year. On my birthday, I'll be the only one taking stock (well, me and Kevin Bacon, who apparently shares the day of my birth :/). Kind of like June 5th is my Independence Day, July 8th is my New Year's.
Goodbye 23... overall you were pretty good to me. Tell 24 I'm nice, and that I should get further in the acting department this year.
That was how last year's letter ended. 24 listened, at least in the acting department. I'm finally in New York, having moved here just 2 months in my 24th year. I've done 3 Off-Off Broadway shows in the past year, and workshopped an intense theatre idea that will hopefully take root sometime in this upcoming year. I've made connections and friends from coast to coast and have learned more in the past year about this art form than I can possibly say. Every year as I watch the Tony Awards, I rewrite my own speech, taking out those who I feel no longer warrant a place in the speech and adding those who do. This year the speech went something like-- "Thanks to Matthew, who cast a nobody from Texas in her first NY role, to Tim and Mac for helping me start down this road in the first place, for Foxy who told me to say 'Screw it!' and move already. Thanks to my family and friends for their love and support. Thanks to John Fisher who didn't let me off the hook even though I was being a bratty little diva from time to time. And Shepherd, in your face."
My previous theatrical goal was to move to New York by the time I was 28. Having now beat that by 3+ years, I think it's time to add another goal. I want to win a tony by the time I'm 33. I'll revamp my speech every year as needed, but there it is. Undeniable. I've written it down and said it out loud. It's real. But, 24 was not all a bed of roses. There have been ups, but probably more downs. Getting your dreams and all, not what you ever expect. I've felt more alone this year than in any recent memory, but that's ok. It's a constant reminder that I can do nothing through my own strength. Thanks to every one of you that have knowingly and unknowingly helped me through this past year. New York is full of 12 million of the loneliest souls on the planet. For those of you (both here and other places around this globe) who have helped alleviate the loneliness of my soul, thank you. I love and appreciate you more than I can say. 25... Most of my friends have been freaking out as they all turn 25. Something about being "halfway to 50" and "not able to claim I'm in my 'early 20's' anymore" and "quarter-life crisis". I've laughed at each and every one of them in turn. I'm pretty sure I coined the "Halfway to 50" phrase as a chance to tease them all, and it worked. I haven't been claiming "early 20's" since I was 23, mostly because I still look 18, so I try to play up the fact that I'm older than I appear. and, as for the "quarter-life crisis" I had mine when I was 22, so I'm optimistic that 25 will have good things in store for me and mine.
So, goodbye 24-- go say hello to Kiefer. You were an experience, both good and bad. I wish you all the best, but still hold out every hope that 25 will be better in every aspect. No offense to you. I still miss 23, but there's no reason to look back.
"The road goes ever on and on...."
Always,
Meg
Current Location: Arrested Development
Current Mood:  contemplative
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12:23 am
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Just a reminder...
My 25th birthday is Wednesday. Will accept fic for presents. ;)
Or, you know, cash. :D:D:D:D
Current Mood:  cheeky
Current Music: Grey's Anatomy
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10:22 pm
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Hello, my name is Megan...
And I am addicted to facebook. No, really. It's starting to become a problem. Also, I think if should be renamed stalkerbook, because really, who doesn't use it to look up exes, unless, you know, you don't have any. However, most of us do, and that's what we use it for. That, and facebook truly is the 2nd most reliable way to get in touch with me (#1 is my cell phone), but I am totally more apt to answer a facebook wall post or message than I am an email. That's sad, isn't it? I think so, yes.
By the way, I feel the need to warn you now that this entry is going to be abrupt and mostly transitionless. I realize that and just don't care tonight. enjoy the random!
Also, it's hot here. I think I've just wussed out, because I have definitely experienced warmer conditions in my life, but never without AIR CONDITIONING. *whines* I escaped to the movie theatre today because I just could not take it anymore. I saw The Proposal, and on the whole I think it was a lazy movie. Nothing really new happened, but for the first time Ryan Reynolds did not annoy me. Also, Sandra Bullock would make great casting for any upcoming Michael Jackson biopics that may be in the works since his death. I'm totally serious, look at those cheekbones! The nose would need some work though, but that can totally be done with makeup.
I've been rewatching Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman here lately, and have been revamping my attitude towards the show. I was much younger and idealistic whenever it first aired (I was either 14 or 15 when it went off the air), so I remember many of the episodes with an almost childlike wonder, and now that I'm an adult I find some of the premises laughable. Dr. Mike is so bullheaded I'm surprised she ever convinced anyone to agree with her, and I'm really surprised that Sully put up with it. I think that's the ultimate proof that he's really not a believable character, must have been Beth Sullivan's dream man, Joe Lando is hott though. (Yes, ladies, with 2 t's...)
Sache, I finished out the first season of Eureka, and unfortunately have decided to abandon it. I did enjoy the scene you were talking about, but I noticed that you can't see Henry's face through half of it, and for me acting is so much more than just the lines I felt a little cheated by not being able to see every facet of his performance. I really do enjoy S.A.R.A.H. though, and think that there should be a series about a smart house like that and it's POV about the occupants that come and go. Perhaps what they do to encourage loyalty or to drive off certain tenants. :)
So, I need to change my name. Megan Lee is already taken in both Equity and SAG and I really need to start building my resume under the name that is going to be the face of my career. I keep waiting for the perfect name to come to me, or bowl me over, or perhaps just beat me about the head and shoulders, but nothing is really coming of it. I really want to keep some aspect of my name out of respect to my parents because (after all) they did put alot of time and effort into me and my name, and somehow it seems disrespectful to just toss it out the airlock as it were. I briefly hit upon Megan O'Malley, (keeps both my first and last names in a skewed sense) but there is already a Megan Mulalley (Karen from Will & Grace whom I love and adore) which is just too close for comfort. Any suggestions?
The latest round of names is to cut out my last name entirely and go by Megan Daniell (cutting out the last e of my middle name and making it my new last name). Thoughts, suggestions, comments? *sigh*
Also, I think I want to be tricked into a relationship. I don't do well with the traditional "Let's date and see if we are really compatible and then I'll ask you to be my significant other, etc. etc." I tend to freak out really easily and bolt with those type of relationships. I need to be fooled into a relationship. My best ones have worked out when all of a sudden I realize months in that "Oh crap, I have a boyfriend... WHEN IN THE HECK DID THAT HAPPEN?!?!?!"
I think I'm just a little lonely. I had friends from Texas visit last week. 1 had just celebrated her 1 year wedding anniversary and the other has recently been engaged to an Army man. We took Sara wedding dress shopping and Lacey and I tried on bridesmaid dresses and just had a ton of fun! But, it just gets you thinking. I guess when it rains it pours, but when will a guy appear who wants me for me and I want him for him, and there aren't too many obstacles in the way (I'm not so naive as to think that there won't be any.)
I'll be 25 in a little over a week. A year ago I was in San Francisco mourning the loss of being 23 which was a great year for me, and in an acting program and discovering all sorts of new possibilities for my life. This year, I'm finally in New York City, living out my dreams and having some success, but it's been different than I expected, everything always is.
In the inestimable words of Galinda from the musical Wicked-- "I couldn't be happier, though it is I admit, the tiniest bit unlike I anticipated... Cause getting your dreams is strange, but it seems, a little, well, complicated. There's a kind-of a sort of cost. There's a couple of things get lost, there are bridges you cross you didn't know you crossed until you crossed. And if that joy, that thrill, doesn't thrill like you think it will, still... Who wouldn't be happier, so I couldn't be happier, because happy is what happens when all your dreams come true, well isn't it?" I truly understand that song now. Moreso than I could ever explain.
Avenue Q is closing on September 13, on my 1 year anniversary of moving to NYC. That kind of makes me sad. Ummm, let's see. My job sucks, but it's a job that pays the bills and if I were to work anywhere else I'd be taking a paycut, so that's out for right now. My maitre'd is a pain in the you know where however who is making my life SUPER difficult. *sigh* What do you do though. Have to work on the 4th of July. Sad day.
My kitten is so cute and not a kitten anymore, but she does not get the hint that 90 degrees with 90 percent humidity with NO A/C is not cuddle weather.
I had something else to say, but it has escaped me for the moment. Oh well. Next time. Hope you all are well! Catch ya on the flip side!
Always,
~Meg
Current Mood:  weird
Current Music: Now that I've seen her-- Miss Saigon
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08:19 pm
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Bored at Work...
I think it started with Qwi, spread to Matt, Jadey, and Mi. Maybe more of you, I don't know... :D
IF YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I want to know 28 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never really clicked, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my flist, so let me know with whom I'm friends!
(If you want, obviously.)
1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so i can fill it out for you?
Current Location: Scarpetta, NYC
Current Mood:  blank
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11:24 pm
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Amusing Story of the Week (NYC Style)
So, I had to close the restaurant last night (thus are the hazards of asking for copious amounts of time off for a show, you have to deal with the sucky shifts when you finally come back). It was a late night. we closed at 11pm, but I didn't get to leave until 1am-- a combination of a new maitre'd who really frustrates me by making me wait around long past when I need to, and guests who would just NOT GET THE HINT and leave.
Anyhow, neither here nor there as the rest of this story does not involve any of the above except for the fact that it's 1am when I leave.
I'm walking to the subway, which is at the end of the block (an avenue, not a street, which means [for those who are not familiar with NYC] the walk is twice as long as a block between streets) when all of a sudden, I hear someone running behind me in what sound like dress shoes. I think that it's someone from my restaurant chasing me down because I've forgotten something (wouldn't be the first time), so I turn around.
14th Street is a well lit street, but this guy was a ways away, so all I can really make out is the fact that he's wearing a white suit. I don't even bat an eye because, well, it's NYC. What does catch my attention though is the fact that (as he is still sprinting full-out towards me) he starts screaming at me "NOT MUGGING YOU!! NOT MUGGING YOU!!"
I have to be honest, I laughed. Loudly. Mostly because that was the last thing on my mind, but as he was running past me, flailing his arms about like a Muppet, I couldn't help but think that it would go badly for him if he tried. I may be little, but I am fierce!
Because I am laughing as he scampers? bolts in a fairy-like fashion? prances? insert an action verb of your choice that instills a sense of femininity to running, he shouts an obscenity at me which I'm sure insulted my own femininity and parentage, but I didn't care, I was laughing too hard.
As it was, he barely beat me to the subway. I'm still amused even now. :D
Current Mood:  cheerful
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02:07 am
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Eureka
So, I just started watching Eureka, and (no offense to the f-listers who love it) am none too impressed. Someone please tell me that Carter and Allison discover (soon!) that they really have zero chemistry. I like Zoe and LOVE Stark which is why I'm quitting watching now. (Me, being me, skipped to an interview towards the end of season 3 and found out something which I oughtn't have.) *sigh*
Ah well, back to the search for summer programming.
I also try to read a new book series every summer. Am open to suggestions, fire away.
Current Mood:  blah
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04:09 pm
[Link] | I may or may not still be crying over the LOST season finale. The sadness has kind of overridden the curiousity.
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04:07 pm
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Apparently...
It's Star Wars Day.
May the Fourth be with you all. ;)
*amused and astonished that she does not have a Star Wars icon-- Han Solo Sawyer will have to suffice*
Hey, LOST is stuck in 1977 right now. It's only fitting. :D
Current Mood:  dorky
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09:33 am
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Beware the Ides of March
Normally, I'm not superstitious, but after that last show I'm a little gunshy. everyone look out today.
Love!
Current Mood:  cynical
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05:56 pm
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It's the time again! Calling all writers!
Ok everyone,
I realize this may not be any of your cup of tea, but I promised I would pass on the call for submissions, just in case any of you had something in the works, or knew anyone who did. Feel free to pass it on!
Award winning company, Endtimes Productions, is currently seeking submisions for our upcoming "American Guignol" series. We are looking for a variety of styles, in the horror/suspense genre, from short conceptual pieces (1-5 minutes in length), to medium length narratives (no longer than 20 minutes). Material that is bloody, macabre, twisted, and that could get you arrested in some states, is basically what we're looking for, although if you have something more subdued, fell free to pass it along-it may form the basis of our future legal defense. The work should also be imaginitive, and innovative-we're not just looking for SFX, but also an elegence, and originality, in the conception. Because we'll be workshopping for three months, we're open to work that's rough, as long as the central conceit is strong. Performances will be held in New York City. There is no pay. Please submit electronically to: endtimesscripts@gmail.com
Thanks guys!
Current Location: Scarpetta, NYC
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10:47 pm
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P.S.
I have developed a wonderful pasttime of attempting to identify what famous actor is trying to sell me what by watching commercials. My current favorite is Jim Halpert from The Office (John Krasinski) trying to sell me a Blackberry.
Current Mood:  amused
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09:57 pm
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5 things you may or may not know about me!
Jacked from Matt and Mi. :D
Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.
1. Acting-- Easily the love of my life, and I don't know that that will ever change. I never get bored of acting. Probably because you are always striving for something different, a different character, a different way to do things, a different way to get what you want from others around you. Wow, I just love it. I miss my theatre back in Texas, simply because that was a sure thing. I was guaranteed to always be involved in one way or another, not necesarily onstage (although that was the case often enough), but just involved. Theatre is different here. It's not as much of a fmaily here as it is a job. I get that, but I also miss the idea that those kinds of bonds are special and not so run of the mill. Still, no matter, I'm here, I'm doing what I love, and hopefully (cross your fingers) I'll get paid for it eventually!
2. New York City-- Home. I never realized that the first 16 years of my life were a lie, but they were. I didn't know that everytime I went "home" for the first 16 years of my life was just not real. From the second I stepped off the plane for the first time in NYC, I finally realized what the true feeling of "home" is. A friend visited here with me before I moved and he said that it was odd. I stepped off the plane, took about 5 minutes to acclimate myself, and then was off. He said he almost didn't recognize me anymore, not because I had "changed" persay, but because I seemed to fit here in a way that I never fit in Texas. Moy goal was to live here by the time I was 28, and I beat that by 4 years. It's exciting, but different than I anticipated. More lonely, but fufilling at the same time. I'm here on my own, and I have 2 Off-Off Broadway shows under my belt in less than 6 months. I'm proud of that fact. :)
3. Texas-- Don't miss it at all. The heat, the fact that there's nothing to do anywhere after 10pm. *sigh* Although, I do miss the people there. Friends, Family, the whole 9 yards. I'll visit, but will never live there again. Which is sad, because that means I won't get to go to many Dallas Stars home games.
4. Dallas Stars (and hockey in general)-- Hee. Nice segway from previous point. The Dallas Stars will always be my boys, although my dream team has long since dissipated. I still miss Nieuwendyke, Langenbrunner, and Hatcher (just to name a few). And to everyone who is shocked that I'm from Texas and like hockey I will say again that WE HAVE A FREAKING STANLEY CUP! So there. :P As for Hockey in general, I just love the physicality of the game. Skill and passion go hand in hand in this sport, and I love the honesty of it. Hockey players don't make nice. If something goes down, you see the evidence in the blood on the ice. It's awesome. I love going to a game for the fights and watching a hockey game break out. :D
5. Lord of the Rings-- Ah Aragorn and the NESE. I still haven't made it through the books (sacrilege, I know, but whatevs). The movies still ignite my inner-fangirl, although the obsession has waned a lot by now. Someday I will finish Summer Camp simply because I WILL have the fake death scene in which your truly cons a kiss out of Aragorn. *innocence*
Current Mood:  talkative
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09:13 pm
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She's alive!
No thanks to my cursed show. More on that after we close.
In other news, a meme jacked from someone none of you know. *gasp*
- Describe me in one word... just one single word.
- Leave your word in a comment before looking at what words others have used.
- Then copy and paste the meme to your journal to find out how people will describe you when limited to one word.
*grin*
Current Location: Scarpetta, NYC
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07:05 pm
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This is going to be a bang-up year...
ok, so my laptop just broke and I have no idea when or if it will be back. If you need me, email me and I'll be able to check every few days or so at work, if you REALLY need me, call the cell.
Peace.
Current Location: Scarpetta, NYC
Current Mood:  aggravated
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04:12 pm
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Well...
I'm 2 for 2 here in NYC! That's right, had another audition and got a part! I'm excited, I get to dance! (Wow, there were alot of exclamation points in those three sentences, but hey, I'm excited! Oh look, another one. :D)
Don't even know when this show is going up, for some reason, I think soon-- like February soon. I need to get to work. ;)
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Alias! Season 1!
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03:19 pm
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Calling All Writers!
Which is practically everyone on my f-list... Heh. The theatre company that I'm involved with here in NY is looking for play submissions for a project they are working on. I know the deadline is soon, but if you guys have anything, or know of anyone that has anything, submit away!
Thanks for all your help, here's the info.
Endtimes Productions, is now seeking submissions for its 3rd Annual One-Act Festival “Vignettes for the Apocalypse 2009”. Preference is given to works with a science-fiction/horror style, or apocalyptic themes, but all submissions will be considered. Last year’s collection, led to the publication of “Title Fight”, by Ian August, and “Work Sucks”, by Adrienne Dawes. Plays should be no more than 50 pages. Deadline for submissions is 1/7/09. Submissions can be made electronically to: endtimesscripts@gmail.com, or by mail to: Endtimes Productions@the Gene Frankel Theatre/24 Bond Street/New York, NY 10012.
Good luck!
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08:05 pm
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Why ABC Frustrates Me
Because they seriously canceled a a show in which Kristin Chenowith (in all seriousness) gets to a deliver a line that states...
"I don't need protection! That's what I have several longstanding restraining orders for!"
Say nothing of the sentence ending in a preposition! It's colloquial.
Pushing Daisies, I shall miss you dearly.
Current Mood:  discontent
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01:41 pm
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High Five
Jacked from Sue!
Five Things I Was Doing 5 Years Ago:
- Studying for finals about this time.
- Obsessing about the Christmas release of The Return of the King.
- Loving theatre more than anything else.
- Alternately fighting with my roommate, or having the best year of college.
- Watching ALIAS, the best television show of all time.
Five Things on My To Do List:
- Buy a new toothbrush.
- Go to work.
- Start Christmas shopping.
- Go to rehearsal.
- Write a piece I've been working on for a few weeks.
Five Things I Like to Snack on:
- Cheez-its.
- Mom's Pumpkin Bread.
- Carrots.
- Chex-mix.
- Chocolate.
Five Things I Would Do If I was a Millionaire:
- Pay off my Student Loans.
- Pay off my parent's mortgage.
- Pay off my brother's college tuition.
- Hire a housekeeper.
- Quit my job to audition like crazy.
Five Places I Have Lived:
- Booker, TX.
- Rowlett, TX.
- Austin [area], TX.
- San Francisco, CA.
- New York City, NY.
Five Jobs I Have Had:
- Actor.
- Weekend Manager.
- Waitress.
- Hostess.
- Barista.
Sue's Bonus Question:
Five things I Would Do if I Could Act Like a Kid for a Day
- Throw a royal fit about anything.
- Go someplace that had a ball pit and jump in.
- Jump on the bed.
- Hug anyone I wanted.
- Spit on people I don't like.
:D
Current Mood:  tired
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07:33 pm
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Life
My sister is home now and responding well to treatment. The doctors are hopeful, yet realistic. They are telling us in no uncertain terms that this is a treatment, not a cure, but that they have every intention and hope of getting to the bottom of what is causing my sister's condition. She was able to go home to be with her girls for Thanksgiving which was such a blessing. My mom will stay in Michigan for another few weeks until my sister gets back on her feet, and my dad is now back home safely after his quick Thanksgiving trip to be with Mom, Moe, and the girls.
My best friend from childhood (Christina) brought her little sister to NY for Thanksgiving, and we spent a wonderful albeit too short few days together, but it was great having someone I love clase by to celebrate the holiday with. We saw Lion King which is quite the theatrical spectacle if I do say so, and Wintuk the new Cirque du Soleil show, which I honestly could have done without.
We had Chinese food instead of the traditional Thanksgiving Dinner, which was loads of fun and took my mind at least partially off the fact that I wasn't with my family for the holiday.
My little brother spent Thanksgiving with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins back in Texas, so our family was completely spread out this year. I spent the majority of the night before Thanksgiving scaring the crap out of said little brother when I called him while on my subway ride home and bawling like a baby about the fact that we couldn't all be together. Christina, Kara, and I had gone to see Four Christmases (the screenplay sucks, skip it, although Kristin Chenowith is always a delight *shakes fist at ABC for cancelling Pushing Daisies while she's on this tangent*) and something about the movie just made me realize how alone I'm going to be on Christmas, and at least I had friends (practically family, we've been best friends for over half of our lives, and Christina is now dating my little brother) with me for Thanksgiving.
Normally, I don't like to borrow trouble, but I couldn't stop the fast forward button in my mind that blatantly reminded me that on Christmas I'll be all alone. Hence the call and commence the crying. I scared more than a few subway passengers as well.
All in all, it was a good few days though. I wish it could have been longer, just like I wish that friends and family could visit with more regularity. (I know I've only been gone for 2 and a half months, but it feels like longer *shrugs*.)
Anyways, that's me for now. Hope all of your holidays were wonderful. :)
Current Mood:  subdued
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01:43 pm
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Update
My sister is stable for the moment. She's going through some sort of weird blood purification process in the hopes that if they filter everything bad out, her body will jumpstart itself and start producing everything the right way. I guess that makes sense, but I'm not a doctor, so *shrugs*.
*HUGS HUGS* Thanks everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and support. I appreciate it more than you know.
My dad is flying up to Michigan tomorrow to help my mom. Apparently she's having a harder time than expected with my sister's ex-husband, 4 daughters, my mom's ex-husband, and ex-mother-in-law. I may try to see if there's anyway I can make my way over to Michigan in the next few weeks, but don't know that I'll be able to what with work and the show. We'll see.
In other news, I'm writing fanfic again... Finished one story, half finished another. We'll see if this keeps up. Would post here, but unless there are any hidden GA fans (aside from Em, who came clean the other day ;) I don't think there'd be much interest. :D
Current Mood: blank
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